Hateful expressions

Hello my name is Carmella. Many call me: Carmella, Carmen, Carm, Car, Mella, Mels, My Mella, Cracker snacks, Carckalack, Jackalack, Psycho Jaq, Jaq and probably a few by that bald chick.
I work very very hard at making sure that everyone around me has what they need. However it seems that no one is thinking the same way that I am.
I can start a conversation about a horrific experience I have had with a close, dear friend. Then seamlessly they have turned the subject to a similar experience of theirs that they need to talk about and I then listen.
For years I have put aside the fact that I needed to talk and they deflected to themselves. I have begun to shut my brain down. I forget things. My whole childhood is nearly gone. That conversation we had, the traumatic experience we shared, that shit just isn't there. All I have left is a feeling.
Unfortunately those feelings are more often wrong than right.
What I am trying to say is that I am getting tired. I am feeling taken fore granted, I am going to day a miserable and lonely death because no one sees what I see.