let the betting begin!

I have done this once before, sworn off men for 12 months, & it's time to do it again. I made it 9 months the last time. I am just not mentally prepared for the baggage that comes with relationships so here I go again. feel free to take a stab at how long I can make it...

It's the small things

I have a habit of feeling like a rescuer and when I happen to be in the right place at the right time with the right thing to say it warms my heart and I remember why I stay here on Earth.

What the hell

Allegedly I am a mom. Apparently I suck at this occupation. Why? Well I just came back from the schools 'family thanksgiving lunch thingy' (which sucked btw). While I was sitting with my nenes attempting to get to know they're friends and not embarrass them I noticed that someone was going around tables taking photos. I decided to be cool with that. That's when I realized that for who knows how fricking long my skull and cross bone thong has been peeking out of my pants. FUCK!

Sabien, my mini me.

Sabien and I took a friend home the other day and were caught at a red light on our way to turn to the bypass. Just then I got a text and I was stopped so I figured I read it and then decided if I wanted to turn right on this red (after all the rule says you CAN not that you HAVE to). I've been stopped there maybe five or six seconds when the guy behind me honks. Sabien: "What is he honking at?" Me: "Me. (and explain about the light rule). "What this though ..." *More honking* "He's pissing me off so I'm just going to sit here until it turns green" Sabien smirks and chuckles each time the guy honks. I didn't bother with the text anymore. When the light turns I proceeded at a granny's pace down the bypass and the SUV honking guy pulls up next to us on the left. I say to Sabien "HAHAHA look at that guy he's so pissed off about it. You should give him the finger." Without hesitation he leans over my side and flips the man off. The man proceeds to pass us up and then slow down more than ten miles under the speed limit. I switch lanes and pull up next to him. Sabien: "That is a big dude mom, did you get a good look at him." Me: "No, I'm driving.Did he flip you off?" Sabien: "No. I think he was going to until he saw I was a kid." I laugh Sabien: "That dude was a big dude. I flipped him off and he didn't have the guts!?" I laugh until I cry a little. The End.

FUCK

My computer crashed and my research papers were not saved anywhere else. I am trying not to kill myself, it's too late to try not to cry.

Title

It's a private affair, one which requires booze and smokes, the process of writing. You'd have to be a hard core Carmella follower to find this and know where it is that I have gone. Even then you wouldn't understand.

I've turned off my cell, I refuse to log into facebook or twitter. If you call the house looking for me you will get one of two responses. "She's not in." or "She's dead." It really depends on who answers the phone.

Should I not die before I accomplish do not worry for I will be back.

I love you,

Carmella Adell

It's been a while

It seems as though I have fallen completely off my rocker, but I think it's a medication compliance issue. I sleep for days on end, I go for days on end. I'm labile as hell and no one can fix this for me although all seem to have noticed.

I met a man. I like the man. I met a boy. I like the boy. I've decided I don't think I'm ready to date.

The nenes and I have been participating in a haunted house. It's fun & therapeutic.

Going to the gym CANNOT be considered an option, rather a MUST.

I need to get my shit together pronto before I completely fuck up the whole term. I'm working on it. It's a slow process.

I suddenly know more people than I know what to do with - it's strange after four years of not being allowed to have friends. I think I enjoy it.